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Trump Names El Chapo Ambassador to Mexico

PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump raised eyebrows in diplomatic circles on Saturday by naming the former drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman U.S. ambassador to Mexico.

Trump told reporters that the appointment of El Chapo was consistent with his policy of surrounding himself with “only the best people.”

When asked about El Chapo’s ten felony convictions, Trump said, “I wish he had more, but I still think he’s qualified.”

Trump’s plan hit a snag, however, when El Chapo turned down the post, stating that it would be “embarrassing to serve in the same administration as Dr. Oz.”

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